Texting your ex?


texting your ex?

Have you been texting your ex? If you haven’t been, maybe its time to start.

Communication between you are your child’s biological father can be very stressful for many women, especially when they have been through an abusive relationship with their estranged husband or boyfriend. But everyone tells you that you still need to keep the lines of communication open because of your children? How to you make that work?

I am a woman who has only been able to communicate with her children’s biological father through court orders, lawyers, law enforcement and judges in the past. Sometimes this lasted only weeks, but others it lasted for a year or longer. It was very stressful for my kids, myself and all that were involved. But sometimes things must be done like this to keep the tension at bay.

Today my  kids are with their dad for part of their summer break. Tomorrow happens to be a doctor’s appointment for my daughter, and the time changed! A text with the change kept everyone knowing what was going on without fighting. Yes, this would have caused an argument once upon a time ago.

Tomorrow I will text my ex to remind him, and my daughter what time I will be picking them up, if we are running late or early and then we will pick her up at his home.

Guess what else?! Because our custody agreement means that my ex needs to reimburse me for medical, I just take a picture of the reciepts and send those through text! Works so easily and we both have record that he received the receipt and any replies because we both use iPhones.

In the past we have used text records in court, and yes they were admitted as evidence. Everything has a time and date stamp, so it was very easy to verify when things were sent and received.

TIPS For Texting Your Ex:

If you think there could be a problem in the future that you need these records, make sure that you don’t delete those texts from your phone, and take a lot of screen shots and save them to print at a later date!!!

Texting your ex could cause problems with your current husband, if he is the jealous sort. So this may not be for everyone, but in our home it works very well between my ex and with my husband and his ex wife.

Communication is extremely important to keep up with your children’s school events, change of doctors appointments, or even when you are sitting in the ER and want to make sure that your child’s father knows that his son’s ankle is only sprained. Sending a simple text can cut down on some of those things that you want to avoid, like misunderstandings and arguments. They can also be a way that you can strengthen you relationship with your children’s father, so that a phone call or in person meeting isn’t as stressful.

Try making your children’s family a stronger and happier family by texting your ex those important things, while also reducing the stress level in your blended family.



Christi Daugherty is a mom to 3 and step mom to 2 wonderful kids. She has had everything you can imagine thrown at her blended family and is here to pass along her tips on how to help keep your Christian blended family stress free.

  • BigBlendedFam

    Great post! What did we do before texting? I was a late bloomer, but for the past three years it has been so helpful. BUT when both parents are reasonable, phone calls or 10-minute in-person discussions are important, too.

    • ChristiDaugherty

      In our family, before texting there was a LOT more arguments and misunderstandings! Texting allows you to stick to the facts with no emotion connected! I agree that phone calls and in person discussions are important also, but texting has really helped us in the communication department.